College Student Breakups
How to Handle a Relationship Coming to an End on Campus
Seeing your ex on campus every day is not the ideal experience! Here's why college breakups are so painful, and how to get over them.
Everybody hates breaking up. But when you're talking about a breakup on a college campus, the process can be especially difficult. Here's why college breakups can be such an emotional drain-- and what you can do to get through them.
Why College Breakups are So Difficult
One of the hardest things about college breakups is that it's hard to get away from the person you were dating, especially if you're on a fairly small campus. You'll still see each other in class, at social events, and in town. If you live in the same dorm, you're really stuck with each other.
Another problem with college breakups is that you're bound to have close-knit social circles on a college campus. This makes it especially difficult to stay away from each other, and may put people in a "choose sides" position. This also means that he or she might wind up dating a friend of yours, which, needless to say, can be a lousy situation.
In addition, college campuses breed gossip, and your breakup may become the latest thing to chit chat about. And in some cases, this gossip may be fueled by your ex.
To make matters worse, college is already a stressful time. When you're already worried about final exams, finances, and getting a job someday, the last thing you need is the extra stress of seeing your ex around campus with a new love.
How to Handle a College Breakup
First of all, remind yourself that things will get better and you will get over this. College drama always seems more important now than it does months and years down the road. You probably won't remember most of the things you fought about with your friends in college, and it's possible you may not remember much about your relationship.
One thing you can do to ease the pain of breakups is to abstain from gossip and drama. Go ahead and cry your eyes out to a few close friends, but try not to advertise your woes and complaints about your ex across campus. Tempting as it may be, never spread nasty gossip about your ex, as this will only make you look bad. Keep your cool and your dignity, and you'll come across as the better person-- and avoid giving your ex the satisfaction of seeing evidence of your broken heart.
Since part of the problem with campus breakups is that you're stuck near each other, get away from campus. No, don't hide, as that's not healthy. But a little extra time at home, at the movies, and anywhere away from campus for a little while will help clear your mind. It will also help remind you that there's life away from school, and away from your ex.
As much as possible, focus on other parts of your life. Sometimes grades suffer when breakups happen, so don't let this happen to you. Throw some extra effort into your school work and concentrate on doing well. You can also focus on your friends and other campus activities. In addition, getting over your past can be easier by making plans for the future. This might be a good time to visit the career center to explore possible options, or to get an internship.
One thing you should not do is indulge in destructive behaviors like binge drinking, drugs, or promiscuity. Ultimately, these behaviors will make you feel worse. Yes, a pint of Ben and Jerry's after the breakup is okay-- but just one pint.
When you're ready, look for some new people to date. You're on a college campus, after all, and your ex is not the only one out there. Make yourself move on with your life, and you'll find that getting over your ex is that much easier.
If the breakup is especially difficult to handle, get help by visiting the campus counseling center. You won't be the first person they've seen who's been devastated by a breakup, and they can help you. Don't be ashamed to get some help, or ashamed of being so upset. After all, most people go through an overwhelming breakup at some point in their lives.
Breakups really do suck, and college breakups come with a unique set of problems. Take a deep breath and try to handle the situation with dignity-- and remember, you will get over this one day.
