Developing a Fun Social Life
When to Go Out, Who to Go out with, and Choosing a Social Activity
Mar 4, 2009
Socializing can become an obligation rather than a rewarding and enriching experience if a person does not realize the impact of the social choices he or she makes. It should be rewarding, but it still requires thought and planning. Here are some tips for keeping your social life fun.
Your Mood
While sometimes it can be helpful to force oneself into a social environment, it’s best to go with the gut-feeling. If your friends are going out and you’re exhausted, tell them you’re not feeling it. Going out when you’re not in the mood will just be a watch-checking activity until you’re back home.
The People You Go With
The people you hang out with will influence the person you become. So if you want to be surrounded by people who like spiritual conversation, don’t hang out with people who only talk about partying or alcohol. If you like bitter people, don’t hang out with happy people. Wanting to be with a certain kind of person, and getting the opposite, will frustrate you and just use up more of your energy, rendering you exhausted at the end of an outing instead of blissful and thankful.
Going out with the people you want to go out with is harder than it sounds for some people. If you generally accept any and all invitations to go out, you won’t find the people who are best for you and you’ll get bored. While you don’t want to look rude and accept invitations a few times, it’s helpful to make an effort to find other people with common interests that you can relate to. At college it’s relatively easy to find someone with similar interests—the classroom, activities, sports, clubs, or even Facebook.
The Social Activity
Spending more than you think the activity is worth, or investing more mental or physical energy than you’d like to in an activity, will cause stress, and that will make the “fun” counterproductive. Don’t be afraid to turn down a costly activity and suggest a game night or one of the cheap concerts playing on campus. Most, if not all of the time, the enjoyment of an activity depends on who it is with, not what the activity is.
Also, weigh your options. You can’t always do what you want with the people you want. Sometimes you have to decide whether it’s more important to do a certain thing or be with certain people.
Socializing should be low-stress and enjoyable, not boring or tiring. Before you go out, make sure you evaluate your mood, decide if you want to be with the people who will be going, and ask yourself whether you will enjoy the activity.
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