Dating on a college campus can be tricky. On the one hand, college is one of the easiest times to meet potential dating partners. Between college parties, classes, campus activities, and just hanging around the dorms and campus, there's no shortage of opportunities to meet people. Indeed, many couples do find lasting relationships and even marriage when they're in college.
On the other hand, a college campus is a stressful place where's there's often way too much drama, gossip, and alcohol. Many colleges have kind of a "small town" atmosphere where everybody knows everybody else's business, especially when it comes to relationships. This is not necessarily the best environment for a relationship to flourish.
So what can college couple do when they hope to make a serious relationship work? Here are some college relationship tips and college dating advice.
Classes Come First
Regardless of how easy it can be to meet potential dating partners on a college campus, it's important to remember that the first priority of a college education is to get educated. A hallmark of a strong relationship is that both partners respect the other's need to spent time with other priorities, and to sometimes place these priorities before the relationship. If a partner is unwilling to accept that study nights need to come before date nights at least some of the time, this should be a red flag.
Similarly, couples need to understand that friendships come first too, or at the very least are equally important. College friendships are some of the most valuable ones people make during their lives, and these friendships will endure longer than most relationships.
Date Away From Campus
One great thing about dating on a college campus is that there are lots of fun cheap date ideas right around the block. Unfortunately, a problem with college relationships is that couples are always surrounded by the same people and the same environment, and that's not good for any relationship. It's good for college couples to take the time to have some "real world" dates away from campus. Try getting out to the movies or to a nearby city, or get away for a hometown weekend.
Avoid Campus Gossip and Campus Drama
Information spreads way too quickly on a college campus, and it's never a good idea to assume that shared information about a relationship will remain secret. Couples need to remember to keep intimate or potentially embarrassing relationship details to themselves. Keep in mind that loose gossip can especially become a problem after a rough breakup.
Be Clear About Dating Motives
Students get involved in relationships for very different reasons. Some students are looking for lasting relationships. Others just want flings, and want to continue to date other people. Other college guys (and yes, sometimes girls) are just looking for, well, one thing.
None of this is wrong. The important thing is to make sure that when two people get together, they have the same expectations. Otherwise, hurt feelings and heartbreak will result. It's very important to be honest, and to never enter a relationship lying about intentions, or with the hopes that someone's intentions will change later.
Avoid "High Drama" Relationships
Some college relationships will result in more drama than others. For example, dating the ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend of a good friend may be complicated. So is dating someone in the same dorm, or in the same close circle of friends. And so is dating a professor, or anyone else in a position of authority or power.
Should these relationships be avoided altogether? Not necessarily. Sometimes, strong relationships really do come out of less than ideal situations. However, it's always a good idea to use common sense and to proceed with caution.
It's Okay to be Single
Finally, it's important for students to remember that it's okay to be single. In fact, it's highly preferable to be single than to be in a bad relationship. At some schools and in some groups of friends, students feel pressured to be in relationships and sometimes even to be engaged, and this can lead to bad relationships and unnecessary insecurity about being single. College is a time for learning, for making friends, for having fun, and for exploring future and present possibilities. None of that requires a romantic relationship.
College dating comes with some unique advantages and disadvantages. On the one hand, it may never again be so easy to meet potential partners. On the other hand, the college environment is not necessarily the healthiest one for a relationship to develop. Student couples should use common sense, avoid drama and gossip, value other priorities such as classes and friendships, and be clear about dating motives.
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