Before you nod knowingly after your friend tells you she hooked up with that mysterious man from the bar last night, consider the following before making the wrong assumption.
Hooking Up is Ambiguous
There are several definitions for the term “hooking up.” And studies show that the reason for this is because young people like the ambiguity the phrase implies, “both in terms of what the physical encounter entailed and with regard to whether there will be future encounters or any ongoing relationship,” according to a nationwide study on college students, “Hooking Up Among College Students: Demographic and Psychosocial Correlates,” conducted by the Counseling Psychology Program at Gannon University, the Center for Marital and Family Studies at the University of Denver and the Family Institute at Florida State University.
Arguably, the phrase, “We hooked up” has established some common ground among the college community; three all-encompassing little words that cover the rebels who cross the line, the church girls that flirt with it, and the few and far between.
Definitions of Hooking Up
There are roughly 20 different definitions of hooking up on Urban Dictionary.com, the ultimate slang reference site. Some of these definitions include: “getting together to get it on,” “kissing with tongue,” “making out,” and “it begins with a couple drinks and ends with sneaking out in the morning.”
According to Jessica Rozler and Andrea Lavinthal who co-authored the book, The Hookup Handbook: A Single Girl’s Guide to Living it Up [Simon and Schuster, 2005], hooking up is defined as “anything from making out to doing the nasty.” “Most people say it's somewhere in the middle,” said author, Jessica Rozler in the March 2005 USA Today article, “They Wrote the Handbook on Hooking Up."
The most common definition, though vague, is a casual sexual encounter with no future commitment to maintaining a relationship.
Emotional Effects of Hooking Up
“Hooking Up, Hanging Out, and Hoping for Mr. Right,” a national study conducted by the Institute for American Values in 2001, interviewed a population of college women over an 18-month period. The study found that three-fourths of college-aged women believed hooking up constitutes a “physical encounter” without further commitment. The ambiguity of the meaning of the term allowed women to be vague about the nature of the physical encounter while still stating that it happened.
Even though the hook-up buddy may not stick around the next morning doesn’t mean that feelings of guilt or awkwardness won’t. Hooking up produces a range of resulting emotions. 61 percent of college women who said that a hook up made them feel “desirable” also reported that it made them feel “awkward.” And 22 percent of college students who described their hook up experience chose to use words such as “dirty,” “used,” “regretful,” “empty,” “miserable,” disgusted,” “ashamed,” “duped,” and “abused,” according to a 2008 study conducted by religion professor and author Donna Freitas, in her 2008 book, Sex and the Soul [Oxford University Press].
So what does hooking up mean to you? A wink and a wiggle? A wag and a shag? The whole point is that no one really knows…which makes it all a bit more exciting if you’re a college student—or alarming if you’re the parent of one.
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